From Breakdown to Breakthrough to Easeful Living
I started to tear up as my coach and group members responded to my question “How do you stay motivated and energized at all time without feeling exhausted and frustrated?” It was a welled up emotion ready to crumble, to burn down my old belief system, to shed my old skin and to go through metamorphosis.
I have been working my tail off for the past year to develop my new business as a certified yoga health coach. I was addicted to stress response. I thought I would lose my edge if I didn’t hurry to complete my to-do-list, I would feel worthless for not hitting my goals, I depleted myself worrying about the outcome that was beyond my control. I wasn’t in sync with the ebb and flow of my nature. The ego wanted to win while I was burnt out physically, mentally and emotionally.
So this had been my pattern: Worked more, pushed harder, achieved sooner, then crashed and burnt. And the vicious cycle repeated…
What type of personality do you have? What belief system do you hold on to? What pattern do you have? Are you able to notice the breakdown as it happens or after the fact?
Having refined my daily habits for almost a year, I have learned to be more steady with my habits, my time of life, the nature and most important of all, with myself. This time was different. After my meltdown at the group session, for the first time in my life that I actually caught myself not being in the flow with easeful living.
I was breaking out of the old pattern, my previous identity as a go-getter and constantly longing for more was shifting. Something more subtle has emerged, I have finally heard my own inner voice. The voice that speaks CARE + CONNECT + COLLABORATE. I listen and care for my needs, connect and collaborate with my heart.
Meditation = Easeful Living
Is your monkey mind constantly chasing the next thing to accomplish, the next desired outcome, the next idea, the perfect relationships and any new shiny object that fancies your imagination? It is important to have meaningful goals and focus on achieving them. If you are, like me, a health coach or wellness practitioner, you have meaningful goals you want to achieve and are likely quite invested in impacting your communities’ health and wellbeing. But the need to serve others and create impactful programs can end up hurting us if we aren’t practicing good self care habits and allowing ourselves space for reflection, meditation and integration of lessons learned.
After my breakdown, it became even more clear to me that meditation is my keystone habit. If we sit in silence, the clarity of our intention in our work and personally becomes more clear and allows us to accept the results (favourable or not). We simply become more resilient to whatever life throws our way.
What is possible?
Meditation is one of the 10 habits in my own program, based on Body Thrive. It is a non-negotiable daily practice. Whether you are new or a seasoned meditator, you will come to crave the peace and freedom that meditation offers. If you are a goal-oriented go-getter like me who wants to be in control of everything, meditation can allow you to become more and more okay walking into uncharted territory and letting things simply unfold. You become more and more grounded and able to receive. This means greater connection with your group members/co-collaborators.
If you have a growth orientation to life (common in this tribe), you know there will be many more breakdowns and breakthroughs to come. But the sooner we welcome the burn down, the sooner the transform comes.
How do we keep our new identities as we move into the next phase of our lives? Just like in practicing meditation, I ask myself.. How do I stay present in the moment? How soon do I catch myself wandering off? When will this new identity become me? Is it when my internal longing is completely detached from the external world? I am not even sure what it means at this stage of my life. I just have to be here with trust, patient and humility. Be comfortable with the unknown while making choices that bring me closer to my true self.
How will you go through transformation? What does easeful living look like to you?