When I was 20 I felt like I was going nowhere. I had completed two years at a community college because my parents did not want me to go away to school. I was interested in plant science and the community college on Long Island had a declining Agriculture program. It was not for me. The plant science teacher was dull and he killed my desire to continue.
Learning to Embrace the Journey
I took some typing classes as I made it to graduation and ventured into NYC, as my father and sister had done. I found a job as a secretary/clerk at an office near the Chrysler building which seemed great but being alone in the office with no one to talk to answering phones and keeping up with the pace was just draining me.
I quit that job and took a retail job to regroup but my father who was at first supportive of my quitting, started second guessing me. The outdated ideas of my overprotective and somewhat perfectionistic father felt smothering. This protective environment was easy and comfortable but I knew I wanted more.
One of my brothers offered to let me move in with his family in Virginia and I decided to confront my parents, pack up everything, leave my friends, quit my job and move to give myself space to come up with a plan. It was not easy, even living with my brother, but I found a job, got an apartment and built a new life where I felt more in control and was able to grow. The success I felt in being able to make this transition has led me to take more risks knowing I could deal with the struggles and the reward was not always what I anticipated but it was my choice on my path.
The Price of Change
Change does not come easy for anyone. We must take risks to change. There is a price to pay for change.
When embarking on a new path we have to figure things out along the way and find what works and doesn’t work with our new way of thinking, acting or feeling. We even have to give up things we have become comfortable with that really don’t serve us anymore.
As we work our way through changes we are not even sure of the true destination – we have an idea but the idea changes and adapts as we learn more about our goals and our challenges. Things we thought would be easy might be harder than we think. We learn and grow. It always seems other people change more seamlessly than we do, that they don’t face the challenges we do but that is likely not the case.
The Pathway to Ease
Habit change like giving up snacks, going to be later bedtime, and getting up earlier means giving up things I have gotten used to but risking our comfort will benefit me much more in improving my quality of life. The path may not be smooth and I may not have it all figured out. It is a work in progress.
I start with a plan but the plan goes off track and I develop a new plan. Sunday afternoon seemed like a good time for meal planning but then I found that other things came up all the time, Monday afternoon is better. Those are all things I didn’t know until I went on the path. I don’t believe I have to be completely ready and have everything figured out ahead of time because change requires us to adapt and change as we change.
Things don’t have to work out right the first time or even the second we just have to start with our idea, find like-minded people along the way, and commit to a path to what we see is possible for us to feel at ease in our bodies and minds free from all the constraints and judgements the world often imposes.
Declaration for a more easeful existence
- What would you put in your own declaration & commitment to a more easeful life?
- What do you need to give up in your current patterns in order to move forward?
- Who do you need to help you on the way and who isn’t going to be a help on your personal journey?
- What personal struggles do you anticipate and what might you need to remember to keep you on track?
Create your plan but don’t be rigid or expect too much too soon- it all takes time. Let me know what your declaration includes.