Sometimes we are in tune with what we need, and sometimes we crave the opposite.
Like when we’d rather go work a dead-end job for someone else than pave our way for our dream business?
I’ve done it a dozen times.
The Search for Security
My panic voice — ”I’m not going to make it, I can’t pull off this healthy-living guidance lifestyle, I’m going to end up on a couch in my parents’ basement.”
I start applications for 5 local food or community-organizing jobs, for which I am well-qualified; I emote to loved ones about how awesome those jobs would be and see their confused expressions as they try to support me in yet another direction.
Then, I pray — inviting the divine after taking a few steps away from my heart’s calling, toward what feels like safety.
Usually, that’s when I remember why I am on this path. I already have everything I need.
What I don’t need is to run.
Sure, I need stability of work and income. Sure, defined tasks at hand and a consistent schedule would give me structure and settle my anxious mind. What I truly need, though, is to live a life, aligned. Aligned with my deep heart longing to open myself, and my story of fearless self-love, to the world.
That panic I mentioned? It’s usually accompanied by late nights and groggy mornings, over-eating, and brushing off my morning routine for the more sleep that I tell myself I need for processing my mind flutter and clutter.
When I wake with a mind still craving to flee, and instead switch on my light and get up, everything changes.
Start the Day Right
Starting my day with ease is always the precursor to living ease fully throughout my day. Like dominos tipping-off one after the other, turning on my light cues feet on the ground, cues boiling hot water, cues elimination, cues meditation, cues movement. You know the drill. With one habit following the next in a rhythm, there is less frantic self-talk, and more room for creativity, less subconscious problem-solving and more ah-ha!’s and hazzah!’s that renew excitement for my next course, client, or even, business-planning retreat.
Here’s what I mean. Recently, after being up surprisingly late for good reason, I could have easily justified sleeping in. I know from habit-science, my Ayurveda teachers, and my own experience, that regardless of when I get to sleep, getting up at a consistent time is my keystone.
I got up.
I went through the dinacharya domino, and once outside, as feet tapped pavement, nose took in cool mountain air, and eyes basked in snow-capped mountain view, ideas and decisions started coursing through my mind. Clarity replaced confusion. Doubt wasn’t invited on my morning jog, and I returned to bubble over with a short, but eager task-list I prioritized before other work.
Moments like this don’t feel real. I’m used to the struggle. Even as it becomes less frequent, and I settle into ease, the vibrancy I feel with renewed enthusiasm surprises me.
What does this have to do with having everything I need?
What does this have to do with having everything I need? When in a low, low moment, my life coach encouraged the mantra “I have everything I need.” Desperate, and wishing it were true, I started using it. The words would quiver over shaky heart when I all but doubted their truth. They brought me back into the moment, because I am a skeptic. When I looked hard for proof that they were in fact true, gratitude for safety, connection, compassion, opportunity, and beauty followed.
It became exceedingly challenging to simultaneously be grateful, and quiver in doubt
So on that morning run, the gratitudes came easily, they’ve become habit. The brisk fall air, the icy mountain ridges in view, my steady stride, my pup at my knee, a quiet road…
Gratitude made room for possibility. Without believing I have everything I need, or at least some things I need, I can’t be grateful. As soon as I acknowledge gratitude, it becomes kryptonite for doubt. There is a clarity, and an opening for ease.
My steps for the process are like this:
What are your steps?
My guess is that you’re easeful living vibe stems from your keystone habit. That is, a habit that when firmly in place, locks the whole thing together; the other habits have a leader to follow, and follow suit. What’s key for me is getting up before the sun, regardless of my bedtime. This paves the way for acknowledging I have everything I need. Believing this truth, I ease up. Life becomes….ahhhh.